Viliman VilimanI wouldn’t mind getting married. Actually, it’s definitely something I hope will happen to me in the very faraway future. *cross your fingers for me* Most women dream of their wedding day. They dream of the white dress, the colorful bouquets and the overly emotional champagne toasts. But mostly, they dream of the man or woman…
Last night was one of the greatest nights of my life. I sung along to amazing songs with 59,999 people just like me, and one incredible human who has truly had a tremendous impact on my life.
I have always received so much criticism for being such a Taylor Swift fanatic. Countless times I have had people come up to me saying “have you seen who Taylor’s dating now?” “she only writes songs about breakups and love” and numerous other things, as well as this, which seriously annoyed me: “why do you like her so much, she’s not even that good.”
Okay. Like who you want, dislike who you want, I don’t care! But don’t criticize me for looking up to this amazing role model whose words have literally saved my life over and over again. If only people could realize that the words that come out of her mouth have the ability to reach out to millions of people across the world and empower them. So just listen to what I have to say, because I am living proof that Taylor Swift makes lives better.
Taylor has been with me through all the bumps and wrong turns in the road and broken hearts and new loves and wrong friendships and good friendships and essentially everything that has happened to me in the past 10 years. When girls were mean to me in school, she told me to keep my head up, because someday I’ll be big and important enough that their words won’t be able to effect me. When the first boy I ever loved broke my heart for another girl, she was there with me through the hurt, the anger, and then the release of those feelings. She told me I would be okay. Then when I moved to college, she was there to encourage me to have fun with my friends, to roll my eyes at guys who have broken my heart, to fall in love with my life, and to spend my time with my girlfriends, because they are the ones who have been/will always stay by my side. She reminded me that it’s never too late to start over, you can always become brand new, and I tattooed those lyrics on my body so that every morning when I wake up, I am reminded that I can always start over.
And then last night, at the 1989 world tour Gillette Stadium concert, she gave a speech before playing ‘Clean,’ and these words rang true for me more so than anything she’s ever said. She told us that we should always be aware that every single person we meet has gone through something, whether it be loss, addiction, etc. which is how I try to live my life, knowing that each and every person is fighting their own battle. She told us that we are all living, breathing proof that we are stronger than what has happened to us. We get out of bed, we brave the day, and we move on. She has done what all celebrities should do. She is encouraging millions of people to fight their battles, to show how strong we are and to get out there and be the best we can be. I listened to her words, and though she may have been speaking to all 60,000 fans in the stadium, it felt like she was speaking directly to me. I have never experienced this with any other artist, and that’s because I don’t think any other artists truly understand the way she does. Taylor suffers when we suffer. She hurts when we hurt. When she hears of a fan who is going through a rough time, she reaches out to them to let them know that she is there, and she does this out of the kindness of her heart, not because she cares about the publicity that comes with it.
Taylor Swift has saved my life without having ever spoken directly to me. And this is why I will never stop loving her, and why I will always support and look up to her.
1. When you have to have dinner with your ex and their new girlfriend who also happens to be your best friend
2. When that one health-freak roommate makes everyone feel bad about eating pizza at 2 am
3. When you can’t think of any good advice to give
4. Looking at the pictures from your family Christmas dinner
5. When you see a cute boy in the dining hall
6. When your best friend from home comes to visit you
7. Finals Week
8. Seeing a girl you and your friends hate at a house party
9. When the same girl shows up at your house party
10. When your professor assigns a 15 page paper due next class
11. When you’re mad at your roommate
12. Making your resume for job applications
13. When your housemates ask what you want for dinner
14. Practicing for your French oral exam
15. When you start to fall for a guy
16. Thanksgiving dinner in the dining hall
17. When you and your roommate have to clean
18. When someone asks your professor if the assignment can be handwritten
19. When your friends tell you a spray tan is a good idea
November 3, 2014
Come on ladies, doesn’t everyone have in their mind an idea of their dream guy? Maybe he has blue eyes, blonde hair, and a dazzling personality. Maybe he’s Dave Franco. Whoever he is, whoever he may be, you secretly wish that he exists out there somewhere. Well, he’s out there, but what is taking him so long to find you? Stop looking so hard. He’ll appear one day. But until then, a girl can dream.
These are some personal qualities, characteristics, and hopes of my own that make my ideal guy and a strong relationship. Some are more serious than others but I think they’re all important. Can you relate? Let’s see.
1. He must have dark hair.
2. And brown eyes.
3. Green eyes are good too.
4. He must be significantly taller than me. Not towering, but like 6’4′ is acceptable.
5. Can he clean up well? Can…
View original post 1,321 more words
So, I think that just about everyone knows how much I love Taylor Swift. Well, lately I have been identifying with her all too well. (puns)
Since my high school days, I have been broken and pushed down, I put myself back together, only to be broken again, over and over and over. It’s a vicious cycle that has been a large part of my life for close to six years now. It is the reason I had so many self confidence and various other issues in high school. But now, I have found myself and have fallen in love with my life and nothing could be better than this.
It all started after (if you’ve read my other posts) I ended my affections for that guy before my birthday. Then, my birthday came around in August and I thought to myself “I am 19 years old now. In a few years, I’ll end up finding the guy I’m meant to marry and my life will be with him primarily from then on. I can’t afford to lose my friendships now over pining over some guy who may or may not be pining over me.” So, I shoved it all aside, fell in love with my life, made my friendships my main priority, and I was truly happy for the first time in so long. I woke up one morning so simply happy for no reason at all, and that’s when I knew things were going right.
Of course, there’s a villain to every story, right? He’s usually handsome, tan, and wears nice clothes in my case. Well, he came along, made me fall for him with his outright honesty (the first this has happened) and told me how beautiful I was and how I made him want to be a better man. Until he had to go back to North Carolina. Four and a half months I was talking to this guy (Don’t even get me started on the whole “talking” phenomenon, because I hate it). I’ll spare you the details, because it’s still too fresh in my mind to really dissect everything that happened, but moral of the story is he was the villain to my story and thought he could crush me, but didn’t realize no one had that power over me anymore. And who was the hero in this story? Me.
So now, a couple of days after all of this, I am back to who I was before he came into my life; loving my family, my friends, my school, and most importantly, myself. And I think this is kind of how Taylor is living her life, because as she sang in one of my personal favorites of her songs, New Romantics, “Baby we’re the new romantics, the best people in life are free.”
So thank you, Tay, because I have inspiration on how to live my life being happy with myself and where I am and who I’m with.
I’m getting stronger every single day.
The past few weeks have been a learning experience for me, and I have finally come to terms with the fact that maybe we’re not meant to be together and maybe I’ve been holding onto feelings that were already gone. I have done my best to not think about you, and in all honesty, it has been easier than I thought it would. You used to be my first thought when opening my eyes and the last thought when closing them. Now, there are some days that pass by without a fleeting thought of you.
Although this is what is best for me right now, it is definitely a bittersweet feeling, considering all that has happened. I know that at some point, which I am unsure of how long, my feelings for you were stronger than they have ever been for anyone ever. And while it is sad to think about the fact that these feelings have now diminished, I am happy that there is someone else trying to give me those feelings now.
Boys, if you have a girl you feel so strongly about, hold onto her and to the feeling you get when you hear her voice, see her face; don’t let that go. Girls, same to you; show how much you care and don’t play dumb when it comes to all of that. Time is so fragile when it comes to relationships, and waiting too long can cause them to fade out completely. Don’t make the same mistakes I did.
I recently read “Paper Towns” by John Green. Although not my favorite of his pieces, this book still touched me. I identified, perhaps a little too much, with one of the main characters, Margo. I understood all too well what she meant about her town being a “paper town” in the beginning of the novel, and it made me realize, that this is my town as well. The people I have known all my life, the ones I went to school with from kindergarten to senior year of high school, they are paper; they are flimsy, exactly as they seem on the outside with no depth, and they are all too similar to one another.
Now, this may make me seem rude, however, it is true. Although it is not every single person in my town, too many have been warped into this sense of needing to be exactly the same as each other. The people in my town who don’t get away from everyone are stuck. They will never get out. My brother, 8 years older than me, has friends who are still, 10 years out of high school, stuck in their “glory days,” having peaked at 18 years old. They still live on the Cape, most still work their first job at the restaurant they started working at when they were 14 years old, and they still go out every night with the same people they’ve been hanging out with since they were little.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that people where I am from won’t grow up if they’re still friends with their high school friends. Rather, I am simply saying that if you do not get out and explore the world, even if it’s just a few states away, you will be stuck. I have seen it happen far too often; 18 years old, moves to college at Westfield State, Framingham, Bridgewater, UMASS, etc. only to return home every weekend to see their high school friends, and eventually, a large number of people return back to the Cape, and they do not leave again.
I will not be stuck in this paper town. I have always known that I did not really belong in the group of people I grew up with, although I did/still do love them all and think they are wonderful, I know I was meant for something else. I was meant to see more than just the borders of the lovely state of Massachusetts. I was meant to study abroad in Italy, to expand my horizons, to see the world, and to belong to something greater than just some flimsy, floppy, town. I was so incredibly unhappy where I was before leaving for college; my town was drowning me, dragging me down so deep into the salty waters that I knew that if I didn’t get out soon, I never would. The first year of college was so good for me; I truly was happy, and returning home for Christmas, and now Summer breaks hurts me so badly, because I can feel my paper town with its paper people trying to break me down and crumple me up…But I won’t let it. I will not be another victim to the paper towns; I will get out, and I will not resort to being the same as everyone else: flimsy, no substance, and no individuality.
The way I fall for guys is easily comparable to the little kid who knows they aren’t supposed to touch the hot stove, but they keep trying to anyways. For some reason, each and every guy (other than the current one) I have ever gone for, has been a hot stove top; dangerous to touch, but so, so intriguing. The typical way it happens is I see them, burning bright wherever we are, and it is almost like a switch goes off in my brain: I have to have them. I chase them, when it should be the other way around. I reach up high to touch that flame, the one ever so enticing me to grab it, and suddenly–I am burned.
Time and time again I have fallen for these boys. The drummer with the cool hair who treated me like he didn’t care about me; the best guy friend who strung me along for a year, only to start dating my other best friend; the captain of the football team, who acted like we were only just really close friends, yet behind closed doors, I was his true love; the German exchange student who told me that the older man (who actually did treat me well) I had been talking to was not for me and that he would be so much better; it has become clear to me that I will never escape this no matter how many times I try. I see the flame. I know I should not touch it. My instincts tell me not to, I should know better than to risk exposure to burns. But I go for it anyway. The only factor left to determine is how long I leave my hand on the stove top.
Many times, it is for months at a time, barring the occasional week-long fling which typically ends with me rolling my eyes, quickly pulling my hand away from the open flame. But those longer times, the burn sears deeper and deeper into my skin, until it reaches the point where when I do eventually remove my hand from the stove top, my hand cannot be repaired and the damage done will leave a scar that can never be healed, no matter how hard I try. I get hurt too badly in these situations, and they cause me to fear love, to not believe that I am good enough to deserve anyone’s love. I am left here believing that any time I fall in love, I will be burned worse and worse and all the wounds will reopen and I will not be able to close them. This is why I am so hesitant, so cautious to fall nowadays, because I am done being burned, done healing my wounds when I am deserted by these flames that have rushed into my life just to rush right back out.
But just as those children learn not to touch the hot stove top after being burned too many times, I have learned that sometimes if you have to touch the stove top to see how hot it is, you don’t get burned–it is just a sting, and it goes away after a few minutes. If I can learn to control the temperature of the flames, I can control how badly I can get hurt, right?